Being back in Melbourne and catching up with old friends led to some inevitable questions (some were asked earlier than others, while some were harder to answer than the rest!).
“Why are u single? Anyone special or serious in your life? No? Why not? Why you so difficult?!”
I’m sure every girl has different boxes she wants to tick, so I’m going to lay all the cards out on the table so you can read our pokerfaces. I’ve even included a default plan B so you will, at some point, win our hand.
Since the caveman era, men and modernization have come a long way. The game is still the same, but instead of weapons like spears and muskets, men now hunt women with money and Facebook.
I think I owe it to the boys and girls I know – as well as to myself – to try and break down the changing rules (and exceptions) of the game.
11 hours of flight time and plenty of time to sleep or think, I will address just one question – one basic question – that a lot of people ask me and everyone else around me.
What impresses girls about a guy? And why?
Here’s (not necessarily) my list – collated from personal friendly research and addressing the key stereotypes… but with a twist.
-*BONUS* FACEBOOK & PICK-UP LINES (Post link here)
1) For the sake of specifics, I will split broad categories into smaller ones.
2) Also for the sake of time, I am going to cut out the usual typical “dress to impress” advice, and assume that any friends or strangers reading this will have their basics covered, average emotional intelligence skills, and are somewhat saavy (not stupid) with the opposite sex.
I personally am not fazed by the head-turner with a perfect arse and abs of steel – although I do know of several girls who would date one, and one specific girl who would exclusively only date a model/models. Some critique this is shallow and superficial, and although I understand where the negativity comes from, I personally don’t believe this makes her a bad person.
After all, beauty is in the eye of the beholder – So, girl above-mentioned sees a stunning sculpture of a man and wants to dry hump him. So what? Somehow, I see beauty in that awkwardly funny joke that man in the corner murmurs out, the sparkle in his eye, or in that winning smile.
A difference in opinion is all.
My personal opinion is if you look like the former picture rather than the latter, and do not have model-like ‘looks’ as the first thing going for you (nothing wrong with that), then try and show off some of your other strengths as listed in the stereotypes below – like your body, social status, witty personality or money..
Editor’s note: No money? No problem. Get a good haircut or your eyebrows plucked, at very least.
Again, this falls into the looks category, and so, ‘a beautiful body is in the eyes of its beholder’ means its only as important as its importance to the person who you are trying to impress.
Metrosexuality (full definition here) and grooming magazines just for men are becoming more and more popular, as many men buff their nails as much as they buff their biceps, and take up better skin care options.
Mind you, not every girl wants a guy who looks like the effeminate over-groomed Gatsby commercial model (in fact, most would rather not date such a type). No one wants to date a man who takes longer than them to do their hair and put their party face on.
Plan B: Want to look good? Get a tan, manicure, facial and eyebrow trim, new glasses, Nivea range for men, or gym membership.
I say go for it – just mind the grey area and thin line between metrosexual and homosexual (unless that is the look you’re going for – which is fine – whatever your choice is).
Editor’s note: This is not a critical requirement for me and for some of my girlfriends, although as someone who (tries to) work out, I am naturally attracted to the company of like-minded people who work out and take care of their body. A matter of similar interests rather than obsession with looks, a girl who goes to yoga is more likely to ‘get along’ AND hence ‘get with’ a guy who has a fitness hobby.
My favorite topic to discuss, and also interchangeable in Singapore for “Cars, Condominium, Cash and Credit Card (the 5Cs)”.
So, exactly how attractive is money, or men with money?
I once read something that someone said, “If the man made the money himself, then it demonstrates that he is hardworking or intelligent (generally), which is attractive to me”.
There are some girls who look for money and men with money (also known as gold-diggers or ho*s), and then there are all girls who look for security.
We’re not as bad as you make us out to be, security is in fact, a different motivation than greed.
We are, afterall, living in a capitalist society where inflation scraps the bottom of the barrel and money matters. We don’t need to know how much money you have, but it would be nice to know that you have enough in 2015 when a restaurant meal might cost $40 and a house might cost <$1million.
So yes, it would be nice if you work hard and become a millionaire.
Plan B: If you don’t have a million, start by saving a hundred or more. A penny saved is a penny earned.
If you cannot spoil us with your money, spoil us with your affection.
Sometimes seen as power or fame, but is generally how popular a man is in the social scene, how influential his family is, how high a flyer he is in a professional career or whether he has certain titles like “Dr” tagged to his name.
Most girls notice the bottle-poppers in the club, but it is usually the “party-girls” who end up interacting with or dating the “party-boys”.
To clarify, I know the idea of “status” might look superficial at first – the way “money” or “looks” is, – but digging deeper, all it is is that I am not as impressed by ‘status’ but more so the concept of something I can respect (about him).
In other words, you need to earn our respect. Respect yourself and behave respectfully with the women around you. We can only like you if you like yourself, so be yourself and be confident (because you are awesome)!
Average Joe, you are in luck!
If you’re not a model, rockstar, or a bottle-popper, at least come up with some good-humored talking points or learn how to dance. That way, we have an excuse to talk to or dance with you.
A lot of men make the mistake of rushing that first encounter.
Most of the nervousness comes from thinking that you have to get a date or a phone number on your first engagement.
Singapore is a small place… there is a high chance you may run into your dream girl again.
Remember your objective – your objective should be to impress her and you don’t have to score a date the first time you talk to her.
Of course you want to do her, but if you really like the girl then getting to know her and getting her to like you should be your to-do list.
Introduce yourself, offer your assistance or chivalry (if need be), but don’t burst her personal-space bubble. You are still a stranger to her! Nevermind flattery, just be friendly.
TIP: Don’t get numbers – get names (which is also so much easier)!
If the vibe is not right to ask for a phone number or date, then you do not have to push it. Instead, try and worm out her ‘full name’ or ‘Facebook name’, and find out if you have any common friends.
That way, you have an actual link to her (even if its just virtual) and an opportunity for an accidental encounter.
Or, you can cyber-stalk her, wait a few days, and pretend you ‘just came across her profile on David AXYZ’s facebook page’. Score!
(Please do not cyber-stalk my friends.)