Don’t listen to me… Just 5 Lousy Lessons in Love I’ve learnt this week

BEFORE we grew up, we were told fairytales and were showed that knights in shining armor would canter in on magnificent horses and sweep us off our feet. If Princesses fell asleep for forever, a Prince Charming would find you and romantically kiss you in your sleep. (Dragon slaying totally optional.)

Not everyone gets their royal fairytale.

AFTER we grew up, we watched Hollywood shows and my oh my did that make things worse. It promised love in vampirism or violence. Everyone dies or everyone cries. The exclusively rich and good looking were bad boys. The few good men didn’t lie or cheat, and would dramatically chase you down the street.

Twilight says love is dangerous/jealousy/twisted/beastiality and borderline incestous...?


Kids, none of this is true.

I’ve learnt some lessons in love of late, and I thought to share some of my own with you.

Disclaimer: This blog post is not actually meant for “kids” (under 18s).

1) Love gives you heartache, but it also gives you a headache. Both hurt.

2) Many girls like to be chased, but not all want to be caught.

3) If you play the game of love, it doesn’t matter who holds the best cards – no one ever wins.

4) Love is like acne.

People tell you it’s this thing that’s big and red, and you don’t realize how painful it really is until you have it.

It comes and goes, but will it go away? If you don’t touch it the right way, it could pop.

They never really heal, and the scars will remind you of the battles you have fought and lost.

Be careful, things could get ugly.

5) For those who know nothing of how to satisfy a woman, let me teach you this – the G spot is located at the end of the word shopping.

In my case, mine’s located in eatinG.

******
Where’s my prince charming?


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Where the fairytale ends, real life begins.

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