A Love Letter from God to a Single Singaporean Christian Girl

It’s been a while. My future husband must be lost, and he must be too stubborn to ask for directions.

The more I love God, the more my perspective of romance and relationships change. I wouldn’t date some of the guys I used to date, and I definitely don’t look for the same qualities that I looked for 5 years ago. Morals and maturity are more important than money, men with holy hearts suddenly appear on the attractiveness scale more than handsome ones, BMWs and bottle-popping have a much lower importance than biblical values… Please don’t faint, I don’t think anyone ever expected a Singaporean girl to talk like that!

#gonearethestereotypes

Will other real Jesus girls please stand up so I don’t feel so alien and strange?

Keeping my first love for God is hard, but most days I couldn’t be happier at the emotional space and time I have to spend with family, helping out friends, playing with other people’s kids, traveling, sorting out my business projects, trying to be a blessing and all-round making myself a better person. Sometimes I’m sharing so much on Facebook that it looks like my social media is on steroids. I have gone a bit crazy on Instagram (@estellekiora)!

A few of the days though, it feels unfair and lonely. The world is cold and cruel without someone to cuddle you. You flick through your Facebook feed and it looks like your friends have got a nicer car or cooler boyfriend. You wish you had more money and shiny things. You watch some stupid movie’s ridiculous love story and you feel vulnerable and inedequate.

“What do they deserve that I don’t? When is it my turn?”

“Matthew 6:19-21 – Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”
It’s only human of us to compare, envy, and look at others when we should just really be looking at God. Don’t look down on yourself – look UP.

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In need of some encouragement, I spent some time with God and wrote a letter to myself. If God sent snail mails/emails/Tweets/Facebook messages, this would be it. This is what I imagine God would say to me – and to you – if you’re a single Jesus girl like me.

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Dear child,

It is so great to hear from you. I’ve missed you so much. I love you and I am saddened to see that you feel alone. It breaks my heart that you miss having someone hold, or even to stroke your hair. I understand that while I am with you always, but you may not feel my presence. I assure you that I am with you always – I was with you while you were rushing around Raffles Place yesterday, while you grabbed that coffee at Starbucks, and even when you were sleeping on that plane to Hong Kong. When you quiet the things around you, you will hear my voice. Talk to me often, for I always want to hear from you.

It makes me glad that you are spending your time in worthy and wise ways, in your quest to become stronger, sweeter, smarter, and everything else that I have laid out in Proverbs 31. I have a wonderful man that I am preparing for you, the same way you are preparing yourself for him. He will be attracted to you not for your body, but because you are beautiful inside out. “Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the LORD will be praised. Proverbs 31:30.” He will pursue you with a passion, as I loved the church. Chivalry is not dead and he will be a gentleman, romancing you the way you desire in your heart. He will challenge you, travel with you, grow with you and he will most certainly make you laugh.

“Proverbs 4:23 – Guard your heart with all diligence, for from it flows the wellsprings of life. ”
Your heart is the wellbeing of your life. How you treat your heart, will translate into everything in your life. So keep guarding your heart, so that someone would have to come to me for it. I created you and I want the best for you, please don’t throw your purity and values away. You are far too precious to waste it, and such fleeting situations will not give you the happiness and satisfaction that you seek – only I can. I know you crave physical intimacy, and fear that you will not find something emotionally deeper. Come to me first to fill you up with love, because I am the only one who will never run dry or disappoint you. You feel something or someone missing in your heart, but it’s not what – or whom – you think.

It has taken you and your future husband time to learn these things.

He is not ready for you yet, but he will be. He will be the best man he can, but are you ready to compromise some things to be the ideal partner for him, too?

My princess, you may not presently understand my plan for you, but trust me for it. I have died and rose again for you. I sit with my angels in the heavens and watch you. Your heart is so precious to me, and only a man who treasures it will be worthy of it. I know you are in a haste, but I do not work within the constraint of time, so you are still young and you still have plenty. Don’t forget to enjoy your freedom now, I want you to have fun and fill your life with fulfilling things. Singleness is a desirable gift (1 Corinthians 7), so enjoy and embrace it. Remember Ruth, and I will give to you as I have given her Boaz.

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Don’t give up on me yet. I’m here and I love you.

LOVE,
GOD

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Singlehood doesn’t have to suck – let’s all try to enjoy the Jesus journey we are on.

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My funny, daily, delicious life at Raffles Place

“Yeah!” I thought to myself, after successful morning meetings and lunch meetings. Finding a decent spot around the grassy patch of Raffles Place, I sit down for a break and whip out my phone.

I was quite engrossed with my social media updates but I noticed my surroundings. A well-dressed not repugnant man circles me. He wasn’t tall but he wasn’t short, looked about early 30s and had his work clothes crisply over a nice watch. He wasn’t bad looking, but I know he was up to something. As I kept my eyes on my phone, I felt his eyes on me. I watched him as he watched me.

I was actually thinking about a reply to an email, when he finally sits next to me and opens with “Hi, I’m a part of a Bachelor party dare…”

I swing my head around to stare squarely at him, and then around me. I didn’t see any other guys standing around, nor any potential PUNK’D type of video cameras.

“Where is the rest of the Bachelor squad? The wolfgang pack?” I ask.

“They are in a room at Fullerton Hotel, and we need a female to witness the groom-to-be doing a striptease.” Well dressed early 30s man explains.

“A full striptease? Take out everything?” I ask incredulously.

“Yes.”

“On a Tuesday?” Nevermind the groom-to-be’s undies – I was more shocked that they wanted to do this on a Tuesday.

“Ya, my friend is the boss of the company so most of us have the day off for it.”

Do I look meek and vulnerable or am I wearing Yves Saint Lauren “Ask me for bad and illegal things” perfume? I smiled politely as I pretended to think about this.

Even the eager beaver boys next to the Standard Chartered poster nearby holding survey clipboards would give me a pen for my time (or maybe even, points for a free holiday if I decided to sign up). Do I get a free Takashimaya shopping voucher for subjecting my eyes to a FULL striptease from a man that I (hopefully) don’t know? Probably not. My friend Christine would probably ask to see a photo of the stripping guy if she was in my situation. She might not even go through with it, but I know she’d at least be curious to see what he looks like.

“I have a meeting in 15 minutes, but thanks for trying.” I kindly rejected the offer.

“How about after your meeting? We can do it after your meeting.” He persisted. I don’t think there was a long line of ladies for him to pick from.

“I have meetings, though, so I won’t have the time today but good luck with the special day.” I pushed it off nicely. I also offered some suggestions of things he could do and shook his hand. He thanked me for my time and disappeared as quickly as he had appeared.

I read a couple more emails on my phone and take off as well. Walking into Raffles Place MRT, a thought shot through – “Maybe I should have asked to see the photo of the stripping man?…” Not like it would have made a difference.
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Would you have said yes?

How to be a BAD boy with a GOOD heart

A girl told me recently that while my brother was in ACSI and RJC, there were a number girls who thought he was hot. Of course, as an older sister who cannot fathom my brother in any sexy way, I find this extremely funny. Girls were digging his bad boy rep on the outside, but alas, no one seemed to be onto his squishy soft good-naturedness on the inside. Well, I’m about to pop the bad-boy-bubble RIGHT NOW and announce that my dearest little brother, who I love very much, is indeed a bad boy with a good heart.

He will be done with his studies soon in London, and to celebrate the excitement of having him back in my physical life, here’s a list of how (and why) my brother is a bad boy with a good heart. Feel free to take a tip or two.

PS: My brother hates me Facebooking/blogging/posting about him, and he really hates attention. (I know, so unlike me right? They don’t make them any more opposite than this!)

So, for the sake of your entertainment (and I will probably be scolded for this), I hope you like this post!

BAD BOY TIP #1:
Have piercings. On your eyebrow, nose, ears, tongue, or really just anywhere.
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GOOD HEART TIP #1:
Don’t be afraid to love and cuddle animals.
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BAD BOY TIP #2:
Take up bad habits like clubbing.
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GOOD HEART TIP #2:
But you should only really enjoy it when you’re with your sister.
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BAD BOY TIP #3:
Make a fuss everytime you have to be seen with your sister. Say that she embarrasses you.
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GOOD HEART TIP #3:
But really, you love your sister. Cook for your sister, and do her laundry even.
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BAD BOY TIP #4:
Hang out in a wolf pack with the coolest boys.
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GOOD HEART TIP #4:
Occasionally allow your sister to borrow your boys for her blog advertorials.
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BAD BOY TIP #5:
Always look moody. Even in the presence of stunning scenery.
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GOOD HEART TIP #5:
Smile in the presence of special occasions, such as when you come across good coffee or whisky. Especially when you’re with your sister.
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BAD BOY TIP #6:
Wrestle with the biggest fishes and win the battle.
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GOOD HEART TIP #6:
Eat them for protein. Fish is literally, good for the heart.
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BAD BOY TIP #7:
Work out.
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GOOD HEART TIP #7:
Put those muscles to good use. Like helping your sister to carry her stuff.
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BAD BOY TIP #8:
Look like a bad boy vagabond.
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GOOD HEART TIP #8:
Actually is a very decent homely and family boy.
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LAST BAD BOY TIP:
Wear a leather jacket, of course.
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(Bad boys shop at Zara, apparently.)
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Disclaimer: I hope you are mature enough to know that this is just a tongue in cheek post for fun, and not to be taken seriously. Bad boys are only cool if they have a good heart. Stay in school and study hard like my brother does.
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Countdown to the month of his return! *JUNE 2013*

A video of a song I wrote + me singing + playing the piano + talking + making faces

My video entry for Charmaine Yee’s #HotFMDateMeDavid contest. YouTube singing sensation David Choi is in Singapore lah. I’m not so much a singer, nor a sensation, so I decided to hack a new song from the first line of his first song…

PS: This is my FIRST time writing a song. And singing it. And recording it. All at the same time. Don’t laugh all at once!
(I guess Rome was built in a day after all)

Every day and Valentine’s Day gifts: 5 awesome present ideas for your GIRLFRIEND or THAT GIRL YOU LIKE.

“If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?”

Don’t hate the date guys! You talk about how lame Valentine’s Day is, but you know you still have to deal with it. In case you don’t know how to, let a single and yet ‘old school’ romantic expert (ME) tell you what to buy – whether you are in a relationship, or hoping for one.

 

5 VALENTINE’S DAY PRESENTS FOR YOUR GIRLFRIEND

I have many girlfriends that are always telling me what they want or what they wish their boyfriend would do. A lot of women want a man to take charge and take care of them, especially on a special day like this. They will drop hints all over your conversations, in text messages, on their Facebook updates etc etc and expect you to know what’s going on. I know, we can be a little confusing/crazy!

My general rule would be to balance how much you’re spending, with a gift that is thoughtful. I don’t know your girlfriend like you do, but you shouldn’t go wrong with these suggestions.

Feel free to text/Facebook some of your girlfriend’s girlfriends for advice, or to confirm that you’re headed in the right direction.

 

AWESOME GIRLFRIEND GIFT #1:
EVENING CLUTCH (the small kind, with no handles)

Whether you decide to purchase from a pricey brand or look for a simpler selection, I don’t think you can ever pick a horrible handbag. Look out for bags that look like this!

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Most girls aren’t as particular about clutches as they are about perfume and shoes (don’t buy those), and you can start by choosing one in a colour she likes. Red? Pink? Silver? Cream white? If you can’t decide, you can’t go wrong with a bag in black. Little diamond crystals optional.

In case you’ve been living in a hole, here’s where you can find this elusive evening clutch.

$$$ TIP ->
Popular designer brands:
Have fun at Hermes Paris, Ferragamo, Coach, Miu Miu, Marc Jacobs, Prada, Chanel, Louis Vuitton, Gucci.

Maybe you’ll find one at a discount on Reebonz.com.sg (A members-only website for premier brands made affordable through private sale events, sometimes up to 70% off).

Less expensive but not cheap/still seen as “good quality” brands:
Charles and Keith, River Island, TOPSHOP, Warehouse, Nine West, Dorothy Perkins and GUESS by Marciano (all about S$70-S$200 range).

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AWESOME GIRLFRIEND GIFT #2:
MATCHING HE/SHE ITEMS, (Pyjamas. Pillowcases. Wallets. Watches. Etc.)

There are some things that men and women shouldn’t share (like underwear), but there are other things that can look cute (and not cheesy) if one is designed for a chick, and the other version is for a dude.

If you share a bed sometimes, it might be cute to get matching silk pyjamas (try the department stores at Orchard/Takashimaya).
It’s less sleazy than lingerie, and more romantic.

Or, you could get matching pillowcases instead, so you can dream of each other when you’re in your individual beds.
She will say, “So sweet!” (Try department stores or those novelty gift stores at Takashimaya, Ion or Dhoby Ghaut.)

If you have a bit more money to spend on yourself as well, go all out and get both of you matching wallets or watches. She can put a picture of you in her new wallet to show her office colleagues, or when they ask her for the time, tell them how you bought her a totally cute watch that matches yours.

Matching items show her that you’re thinking of her as your partner, a part of you, your other half.

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AWESOME GIRLFRIEND GIFT #3 + #4:
DIGITAL CAMERA FUJIFILM POLAROID CAMERA SET + FILM AND ACCESSORIES

Don’t walk into a camera shop and ask them to recommend you a digital camera for your girlfriend! What a digital disaster waiting to crash and reboot… Do your research first and find out what camera brand or functions your girlfriend likes. (Start by checking her views on high end compact, mini DSLR, full blown Nikon range, small and cute looking cameras with lots of in built filters for picture effects and skin softening functions etc).

Best buys are at Funan IT Mall, Alan Photo, Song Brothers, Cathay Photo.

Giving your female a taste of a vintage trend can be quite romantic. This will probably make her squeal – a Poloroid camera is probably one of the prettiest presents you could get for a girl.

$$$ TIP -> It’s called a FUJIFILM INS camera set to cost you about S$200. You can get a Poloroid camera for about S$109-$150, film for $11-$13 for a pack of 10 ($15 for special film with prints and borders), $15-$20 for a Polaroid-specific photo album and maybe throw in more for some small and cute stickers.

Best to buy at Bugis shopping mall and Bugis Street Shopping village – The last few times this month I walked around Bugis, I’m hit by stalls offering this. It looks like they are really cashing in on the Poloroid photography wave.

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AWESOME GIRLFRIEND GIFT #5:
PHOTOBOOK OF PICTURES

Does your girlfriend already have a digital camera? Yes.

Does your girlfriend take 100 photos a week of your outings, or even when you are at home? Yes if she’s Singaporean.

Just kidding, not all Singaporean girls take 100 pictures a week… some take 100 pictures over 1-2 days.

So, if your girlfriend is into pictures, why not help her to create a photobook of all the pictures that she has already captured? A photobook full of pictures of herself, of her pets, of her family and friends, of you and with you… Most girls would like that.

To do this, you have to ask for or get access to her computer, and find out which where she stores all her pictures. Get an external hardrive and transfer all her pictures into it. This way, you can slowly work on designing and creating the Photobook for her – trust me, unless you’re a tech whiz/if it’s your first time doing this, it will take you more than a few hours for sure!

Hardcover or softcover? Cute or grand? Photobooks cost about $50-150 to create, depending on how luxe, big, or thick it is going to be.

You can check out the following Photobook sites – most of them have instructions or simple programs that you need to download to create and finalize your perfect Photobook.
Snapfish.com.sg – Top recommendation
Photobooksingapore.com
Photobookmart.com.sg
Shutterfly.com – Not a Singaporean website/service but supposedly very popular still with Singaporeans

$$$ TIP -> You can often buy discounted vouchers for Photobook services via Groupon (discounted vouchers here), Streetdeal.sg, deal.com.sg and other deal websites.

If you don’t have enough (or 100) photos of you and your girlfriend yet, you can consider making her a photo calendar instead. It’s still quite early on in the year and you only need 12 pictures, one for each of the month. It’s also a lot less work than doing a Photobook… You can ask any Kodak stores or photo services about their processing time and cost.

5 SUBTLE BUT AWESOME VALENTINE’S DAY PRESENTS FOR THE GIRL YOU LIKE

The cute girl that you have been whatsapping with all your waking hours. The pretty one you have been trying to kiss. The girl from the office who makes you laugh. At some point or another, we’ve all gone through this.

Bear in mind, bigger is not always better – I had a guy friend once who was besotted with a beautiful girl (model lah). He bought her a Bulgari necklace along with an incredible basket of flowers that was almost equally expensive, after knowing her for only one week. She was impressed for one day, but he never won her heart.

Don’t let this happen to you, take it slow, make it thoughtful and subtle, and don’t give too much too soon!

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AWESOME GIFT FOR THE GIRL YOU LIKE #1:
PHONE ACCESSORIES

Is she always listening to music on her way in from work, or complaining that her iPhone, BlackBerry or Android phone is running out of battery? Be a man. Do something about it and buy her some cute new earphones or a portable mobile phone battery (the better ones cost about S$40-60 each and can charge a phone to 100% power about 2 times).

Wrap it up and add in a small card… Not too pushy, but perfect!

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AWESOME GIFT FOR THE GIRL YOU LIKE #2:
BOOK

Does she like to read? To cook? To bake cupcakes?

You can get her a book on anything from mystery to romance, learning to leadership, cooking to making cocktails… If you have no idea what genre to get, just get a book of jokes and put it in a bow. Those small and handy books sold at the front of bookstores make great little book gifts too.

Just don’t give her 50 Shades of Grey – it’s so wrong and she might tell everyone she knows that you’re a pervert.

AWESOME GIFT FOR THE GIRL YOU LIKE #3:
A MUSIC CD

Whether you choose some relaxing jazz music or a party mix by Ministry Of Sound, a music CD will definitely send some happy feelings down her heart, mind and body. This is also the ideal new-age mixtape – More romantic than sending her a song on iTunes, and not as hard to do as making an actual mixtape (can you actually still make a mixtape with a real tape?!).

$$$ TIP -> It’s only going to cost you $20-25, and THAT Music Shop at Pacific Plaza (Orchard) is always blaring a selection of cool tunes, and you can probably find anything and everything at one of the mega HMVs.

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AWESOME GIFT FOR THE GIRL YOU LIKE #4:
BOX OF CHOCOLATES/SNACK BASKET

Yes, it’s boring. But it works. Unless she’s allergic or just hates the world, I don’t know a girl that doesn’t like sweet treats.
“Oh, I can’t eat it, it will make me fat!” Bullsh*t. Smile, say you’re welcome, turn around, and the chocolates will be gone in a heartbeat.

Go a step further and make things extra special by putting together a little snack basket (you can call it her “stress” basket).

Fill it with sweet or fun treats like oreos, chocolate chip cookies, dried mangoes and mixed nuts, Twisties, fresh fruits like apples and strawberries, Kit Kat (everyone loves Kit Kat), and other Nestle products that promote nutrition, health, wellness and happiness!

AWESOME GIFT FOR THE GIRL YOU LIKE #5:
KISSTIXX

Buy her something thoughtful (like the portable mobile battery charger), but throw in something cheeky like a KISSTIXX. Yes, you heard me right. It’s a mixed kiss stick. A kiss stick that MIXES, to form a KISS that will STICK.

If your mind isn’t blown yet, your tastebuds will be!

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Newly available on Zalora.sg, one KISSTIXX pack arrives with not one, but two totally different and delicious lip balms that will help you to send a sexy message…

STEP 1) Ask her to choose her favourite flavour in the pack. (Whatever she doesn’t pick, is your stick.)
STEP 2) Offer to apply the lip balm on her lips. After hers is applied, apply yours with your special flavour.
STEP 3) Have a few laughs about it… And then prepare for a flavorful punch when you lean in for that peck!

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***FREE VALENTINE’S DAY PRESENT FOR YOU!***

Sounds like fun? Want one? I’m giving away 6x KISSTIXX PACKS, BEFORE VALENTINE’S DAY (each comes with 2 complementing flavoured lip balms).

 

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PART 1!) All you have to do is share the LINK TO THIS BLOGPOST on your Facebook wall and 2 other friend’s Facebook wall (bonus points if you add why this Valentine’s day present is awesome).

PART 2) Email me a SCREENSHOT of it and don’t forget to include your name and contact number! -> EMAIL ME AT LOVEYOUWRONGTIME@GMAIL.COM


CONTEST CLOSES + WINNERS WILL BE CONTACTED BY TUESDAY 12 FEB for prize collection. Winners will be able to pick up their prize from WEDNESDAY 13 FEB onwards from a location in town.

 

Check out and buy a KISSTIXX at Zalora.sg HERE – one KISSTIXX purchase at SGD$19 will give you not one, but TWO packs (each with two contrasting flavoured lip balms). Shipping is free.

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That’s all I can do gentlemen… the rest is up to you!
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PS: I actually hardly get presents from suitors, but there was one Valentine’s Day that I did. I will never forget the guy who sent me a pair of goldfish and turtles, along with a bunch of wrapped roses. I thought it was really creative, but all my friends thought it was crazy!
What’s the strangest/coolest Valentine’s Day gift you’ve received? Make my Vday and tell me in the comments below!!!

Crazy, stupid love quotes – My new #InlovewithTuesdays series

I usually have church group on Tuesdays and it makes me feel pretty happy and loved. So, I started a new series every Tuesday #InlovewithTuesdays where I will post all sorts of thoughts that I have come up with or come across about this crazy, stupid thing called love.

I have a whole list of these love quotes coming up which I will I hope you will enjoy, and if you don’t, don’t stone me!

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I posted the first one on my Facebook cover photo last Tuesday, and one more today. I will start posting them simultaneously on my blog and via Instagram with the hashtag #inlovewithTuesdays –

8 jan 2013

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I will keep spamming the world with my sarcasm until I’m bored or no longer single.