A Love Letter from God to a Single Singaporean Christian Girl

It’s been a while. My future husband must be lost, and he must be too stubborn to ask for directions.

The more I love God, the more my perspective of romance and relationships change. I wouldn’t date some of the guys I used to date, and I definitely don’t look for the same qualities that I looked for 5 years ago. Morals and maturity are more important than money, men with holy hearts suddenly appear on the attractiveness scale more than handsome ones, BMWs and bottle-popping have a much lower importance than biblical values… Please don’t faint, I don’t think anyone ever expected a Singaporean girl to talk like that!

#gonearethestereotypes

Will other real Jesus girls please stand up so I don’t feel so alien and strange?

Keeping my first love for God is hard, but most days I couldn’t be happier at the emotional space and time I have to spend with family, helping out friends, playing with other people’s kids, traveling, sorting out my business projects, trying to be a blessing and all-round making myself a better person. Sometimes I’m sharing so much on Facebook that it looks like my social media is on steroids. I have gone a bit crazy on Instagram (@estellekiora)!

A few of the days though, it feels unfair and lonely. The world is cold and cruel without someone to cuddle you. You flick through your Facebook feed and it looks like your friends have got a nicer car or cooler boyfriend. You wish you had more money and shiny things. You watch some stupid movie’s ridiculous love story and you feel vulnerable and inedequate.

“What do they deserve that I don’t? When is it my turn?”

“Matthew 6:19-21 – Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”
It’s only human of us to compare, envy, and look at others when we should just really be looking at God. Don’t look down on yourself – look UP.

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In need of some encouragement, I spent some time with God and wrote a letter to myself. If God sent snail mails/emails/Tweets/Facebook messages, this would be it. This is what I imagine God would say to me – and to you – if you’re a single Jesus girl like me.

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Dear child,

It is so great to hear from you. I’ve missed you so much. I love you and I am saddened to see that you feel alone. It breaks my heart that you miss having someone hold, or even to stroke your hair. I understand that while I am with you always, but you may not feel my presence. I assure you that I am with you always – I was with you while you were rushing around Raffles Place yesterday, while you grabbed that coffee at Starbucks, and even when you were sleeping on that plane to Hong Kong. When you quiet the things around you, you will hear my voice. Talk to me often, for I always want to hear from you.

It makes me glad that you are spending your time in worthy and wise ways, in your quest to become stronger, sweeter, smarter, and everything else that I have laid out in Proverbs 31. I have a wonderful man that I am preparing for you, the same way you are preparing yourself for him. He will be attracted to you not for your body, but because you are beautiful inside out. “Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the LORD will be praised. Proverbs 31:30.” He will pursue you with a passion, as I loved the church. Chivalry is not dead and he will be a gentleman, romancing you the way you desire in your heart. He will challenge you, travel with you, grow with you and he will most certainly make you laugh.

“Proverbs 4:23 – Guard your heart with all diligence, for from it flows the wellsprings of life. ”
Your heart is the wellbeing of your life. How you treat your heart, will translate into everything in your life. So keep guarding your heart, so that someone would have to come to me for it. I created you and I want the best for you, please don’t throw your purity and values away. You are far too precious to waste it, and such fleeting situations will not give you the happiness and satisfaction that you seek – only I can. I know you crave physical intimacy, and fear that you will not find something emotionally deeper. Come to me first to fill you up with love, because I am the only one who will never run dry or disappoint you. You feel something or someone missing in your heart, but it’s not what – or whom – you think.

It has taken you and your future husband time to learn these things.

He is not ready for you yet, but he will be. He will be the best man he can, but are you ready to compromise some things to be the ideal partner for him, too?

My princess, you may not presently understand my plan for you, but trust me for it. I have died and rose again for you. I sit with my angels in the heavens and watch you. Your heart is so precious to me, and only a man who treasures it will be worthy of it. I know you are in a haste, but I do not work within the constraint of time, so you are still young and you still have plenty. Don’t forget to enjoy your freedom now, I want you to have fun and fill your life with fulfilling things. Singleness is a desirable gift (1 Corinthians 7), so enjoy and embrace it. Remember Ruth, and I will give to you as I have given her Boaz.

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Don’t give up on me yet. I’m here and I love you.

LOVE,
GOD

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Singlehood doesn’t have to suck – let’s all try to enjoy the Jesus journey we are on.

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if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt – only love.

“I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt – Only love.”
-Mother Theresa

Lessons from an Aspiring Entrepreneur: It’s harder to not have a job, than to actually have a job.

It’s post-ZoukOut, on Monday. I’m sure all the half-hungover corporate-slave friends I have out there want to kill me for saying this right now but… I’ve come to the realization that it’s harder to NOT work, than actually working. Let me explain:

When you work, you have money. You wake up and go to work everyday (though you probably don’t want to), and you have routine and discipline. You have a support system of co-workers to interact with everyday (whether you like them or not), and you might meet your friends after work for dinner. You catch up with your family about what you did, and bitch about your bosses and theirs. At least, you have progress to talk about.

At the end of the day, you are tired, but you have purpose. (And money.)

Friends tell me that they admire my courage coming out of the corporate world to try and start my own thing. They tell me that they want to be like me. It sounds like the perfect plan – starting your own elusive business and joining the ranks of the New Rich (read Tim Ferriss’ blog for more context on the concept of New Rich).

Everyone wants to hear your success story, but no one really reads about or understands the failures that you go through first.

The reality is that I’m almost reaching the 6-month mark where I have been officially jobless, although most of it was spent exploring and working on some business ideas. In the interim, I’ve done lots of sleeping, reading, learning, meeting people, and gained more knowledge and advice than I could have ever hoped for. Sure, it’s an exciting chapter in my life. But friends and family question me, and at the end of this 6 months so far, what do I have to show for?

Nothing.

At least, there has been a bit of progress lately and things have just started moving forward. However, I’m frankly very disappointed in myself that it’s taken this long for things to get moving. I should have done what I’m doing now, in the beginning.

I sit at home most of the time stuck in my own head, only occasionally interrupted when my Granddad asks for help or when I hear my neighbours quarrelling about this and that. I feel like I’m lost in my own world, and no one understands.

I have all the time in the world now, but what am I doing with myself?

Dear God, are you there? Where are you?

Worrying

Good things are happening, but sometimes I can’t help worrying.

Today is one of them… 😦 But I’ll try not to let worry be my rocking chair, and just ROCK it instead.

Worrying does not empty TOMORROW of its troubles – but it empties TODAY of its strength”

In other words, worrying is useless!

Secret to my happiness: I never live with any regrets

If you want something, go for it. If you don’t want something, leave it.

And here’s the catch – If you don’t know whether you want something, make a decision and then stick to it.

And this is one of the secrets to my real life happiness. Why live in the past when the future is so much better?

#YOLO

My inspiration and vision – “Live your dream, and share your passion”

This is your life. do what you love. and do it often.
If you don’t like something, change it. Life is simple.
Open your mind, arms and heart to new things and people.
Some opportunities only come once, seize them. Travel often.
Getting lost will help you find yourself.
All emotions are beautiful.
When you eat, appreciate every last bite.
Ask the next person you see, what their passion is.
Share your inspiring dream with them.
Life is about the people you meet, and the things you create with them. So go out and start creating. Life is short!
Live your dream, and share your passion.

Words and video by The Holstee Manifesto.

Remember this quote that was floating around Facebook? I’m sure you do!

The Holstee Manifesto is a social entreprise selling sustainably sourced consumer goods made famous by just ONE quote.
How the Holstee Manifesto became the new JUST-DO-IT – It gives me hope that anyone can have their lucky break anytime!

#YOLO (You only live once).